Right mix for socializing from an ambivert’s view
In India, there are various protocols you need to keep in mind while socializing. What’s the right mix to socializing for an ambivert and be comfortable in an uncomfortable zone?
In case you happen to meet some of your relatives (whom you have not met since ages, sometime you can’t even recall their names), you still need to wear a smile on your face as if you know everything about them. There are people whom I know, who find it easy to gel into the crowd. But, for the introvert in me, the moment there are talks of social gatherings like attending parties, wedding functions or even going out for dinner, I feel like wearing an invisibility cloak and escaping somewhere no one can find me for a while.
If I had it my way, I would make a clone of myself (a 100% extrovert at that). The clone would perform these socializing tasks while I would be comfortably be reading a book at home all alone. On the other hand the extrovert in me, really likes to meet people and learn from these interactions.
Over the years, I realized the possibility of the above scenarios of escaping with an invisibility cloak on or getting my clone is not possible. It’s difficult to escape from socializing, as cliché as it sounds, humans are after all social animals! Hence, I had to find ways to make myself comfortable in the uncomfortable zone and get the right balance that keeps both my introvert and extrovert self happy. Here’s an ambivert’s view on socializing and things I followed to find a solution to this conundrum.
What’s in it for you:
It’s critical to analyze what you will achieve by socializing with certain set of people. It can be as subjective as your mom’s happiness if you attend a relative’s function or as objective is networking with people knowing whom will help you grow in the field you are in. My profession which revolves around communications ( I know it’s an irony considering my personality) demands me to meet people regularly and identify ways I can be better at work. When I was a journalist, I attended many parties. It helped me gain sources for my stories and a small talk while holding a glass of juice increases your familiarity. So next time you meet that person, that familiarity helps you get easy appointments and better stories to work on.
Cut the noise out:
One of the parts which I don’t like about these parties and functions is that, there always has to be some music in the background. It is so loud that it increases your heart rate. I wonder why is that the case?! While your purpose is to come together and talk, why do you need music around (pleasant one is fine)? Well, we can keep this discussion for some other time. Anyway, if you want to be a part of the crowd even for a little while you need to cancel the noise around you. Like, the unnecessary yapping, loud music and also the presence of so many people in case its a huge gathering. Get straight to the point. Make your presence felt by meeting few important people. Small talk with people around and try and accomplish your mission as soon as possible.
No need to go overboard:
Since you already know that you are uncomfortable being a part of the crowd, its important to understand your limits as after a point it may get unbearable to bear the noise around. I prefer setting a time for myself after which I vaporize. For instance, recently I was at a party, I ate food that I enjoy, greeted everyone, some small talk in the middle to be a part of the discussion and once done, I left exactly from that place at 10 PM. This approach has really helped me network with people easily with a natural smile on my face. Rather than considering it as an obligation, I find myself comfortable in such encounters.
At the end, it’s a beautiful thing for me, as an introvert I am able to be with myself as per my terms and conditions and as an extrovert I get to meet different people from whom there’s an opportunity to learn. It’s all about getting the mix right, knowing yourself and your preferences. Thus, making it all fun and exciting!
If you have some interesting insights to share on the topic please comment below or contact me here
